By Derek Fobe
We
can blame a struggling economy for many things including the fact I
don't own a sweet motorcycle and now we can add one more to the list –
ruining NHL Trade Deadline day. It has become like a second Christmas
to almost all hockey followers who call in sick to work so they can sit
in front of the TV in their pajamas. It includes fans of also-rans
excited about piling up draft picks and dreaming of a brighter future
filled with hope instead of dismay. While fans of contenders and
pretenders alike clapping their hands in glee as they mortgage their
future (draft, schmaft!) by making shocking moves to try and either
kickstart their way into the tournament or solidfy their chances of
making it to the Cup final.
Alas, aside from
the Alberta teams we didn’t see much of anything in terms of
surprising, delightful or even creative. Damn you crappy economy!
Damn you! You ruined NHL Trade Deadline Day - is nothing sacred?!
In the meantime, here are your trade deadline Shakers and Sliders.
Big Shaker: Calgary
With
a tidy record of 38-19-6 it is easy to forget Keenan’s crew actually
struggled a bit to start the season and 9 of their 19 losses came in
the first six weeks of the season. So they’ve been cruising and
bruising all comers for awhile now. The addition of "Holy" Ole Jokinen
and reacquiring the underrated Jordan Leopold the Flames must feel they
are the favorite while the Wings, Sharks, Hawks and Canucks will
politely disagree in what will undoubtedly be an epic Western
Conference showdown.
No question they gave up
big chunks of their future and there’s a chance it won’t pay off. But
with the pedestrian goaltending all the top teams have been getting to
date and Kipper rounding into form – it looks like a perfect move
especially since the other contenders stood pat. A classic NHL
deadline deal - WE LOVE IT!
Big Mover: Edmonton
Their
creative approach in taking “Know Your Role” Erik Cole who was going to
walk this summer and acquiring two forwards in Patty O’Sullivan and
Ales Kotalik looks like good work from here. I have always been a big
fan of O’Sullivan and it is hard to believe he just turned 24 – it
seems he should be a lot older by now. He can’t score – he may wind up
with the lowest shooting percentage of forwards in the history of the
sport – but he sure likes to try as he’ll probably end up with over 250
shots again this year if not 20 goals. Maybe some magic Oilers’ pixie
dust will help turn his 40-goal talent into a 40-goal player. Edmonton
will just be thrilled if he can start twinging twine now and make sure
they hit the playoffs. Kotalik is as big a body as Cole, offers as
much production as he does and should help the Oilers power play. The
Oilers got better and none of their future Oil reserves got tapped by
doing it – which counts as creative and brilliant but only if they hang
onto that last playoff spot. Doesn’t another Battle of Alberta in the
playoffs sound like fun?
Big Shaker: Phoenix
A big, BIG bag of future goodies from Calgary for their big center who
doesn’t come with any playoff guarantee as Mr. Jokinen hasn’t played in
a playoff game since, er, um. Wow. Ever. Let the continual
rebuilding in Phoenix continue.
Little Shaker: Pittsburgh
One of their acquisitions in Chris Kunitz or Billy Guerin is gonna
score a lot of goals banging in Crosby’s and Malkin’s rebounds. With
their Hossa-induced hangover, they definitely paid a much lower price
than last year - which is nice.
Little Shaker: NY Rangers
Adding
Nik Antropov for not a lot, Derek Morris for even less and getting
“Sloppy” Sean Avery back for free is what I would call VALUE! Now
coach Tortorella just needs to convince all the talent that scoring
ugly is still better than not scoring at all.
Big Slider: Detroit
So you got Hossa for one year, build a super-team and your not gonna
worry about a silly thing like goaltending? What in the name of Scott
Clemmensen were you thinking? Sheesh. I’m waiting for your
first-round opponent to sign Felix Potvin so he can dispatch you to the
golf course yet again. For every Cup they win, there’s 2 or 3
first-round flameouts and I don’t see the Wings winning all their
playoff games 6-5 or 8-0. (Ooooh, nasty 8-nil Predator reference!)
Mover: Buffalo
Tim Connolly for $9 million?! Really? Really?! The Canucks just got
Alex Burrows for less money and twice as long and he’s 3x better! That
sure as heck ain’t value. Now getting Dominic Moore is but unless
Lalime is Sub-lime they ain’t going anywhere. Still Moore is a solid
pickup.
Slider: Ottawa
With the
acquisition of an unproven, overpaid and injured Pascal Lecalire, let
the overpaid, sub-standard goaltending problems that have plagued this
franchise since the outdoor “7-man hockey” glory days continue.
Slider: Washington
Repeat above without the historical 7-man reference. Can someone call
Germany and see if Freddy Cassivi will come back to start Game 1 of the
first-round. Although he does not have Theordore’s luscious hair which
is unfortunate.
Slider: Toronto
The Maple Tee Hees managed to acquire Olaf Kolzig and Marty Gerber. I don’t think any other explanation is necessary.
Slider: Florida
When “Jay-Bo” Bouwmeester signs with the Oilers or the Canucks in the
summer for like a kamillion dollars – the Panthers will have warm, fond
memories of the six playoff games they had in the first round – which
isn’t really good value for your franchise player. Call someone in
Buffalo and ask them how losing franchise players for zippo has worked
out.